Internet Wonders

It's easy to waste lots of time just clicking around on the internet. I can read articles and blogs, watch The Daily Show and The Colbert Report, write emails, check my accounts, choose movies on Netflix, Google strange words and buy things on Amazon.com.*
Even with all these distractions, nothing eats time like a bad quiz. "What's your dating style?", "Who's your inner diva?", and "What American Idol contestant are you most like?" don't interest me, but I was suckered in by the "What animal would you be?" quiz. When my results came up, I just had to laugh:

This horoscope is the best I've ever read. Except for the last bit--do people really think I'm that bad?--it was spot on. I am grumpy and cynical and striped and grizzled and I enjoy living in British Columbia or the British countryside. I think this website may be on to something.(http://quizilla.com/users/EmrysWolf/quizzes/What%20Is%20Your%20Animal%20Personality?/)

The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, but in our fuzzy little friends that we are underlings.

*free advertisement, but I'm willing to negotiate.

Government Priorities

The city leaders of St. Petersburg, Florida have decided that recycling is a luxury that need not be pursued. Although they would like their town designated a "Green City", they'd rather not have to act environmentally conscious to achieve it. Apparently, it would cost approximately $3 a home to establish curbside recycling, but they deemed that too much of a burden on local citizens. They must have thought it was against our national freedoms to enact a mandatory fee for recycling. Maybe we should also go back to the medieval ways of throwing refuse out of the closest window to avoid the unfairness of having to pay for garbage pick up.

In other ridiculous news, the U.S. Government is cracking down on the sale of European Kinder Eggs in American stores. A hollow chocolate egg, a Kinder Surprise contains a small toy in a plastic cylinder that the government has designated dangerous for children under 3. So instead of just labelling the product as unsafe for toddlers (a warning which was already on the package), they've banned the sale completely. I think my right to enjoy chocolate is being infringed, but I guess it's probably for the best, since the plastic in their eggs would just end up in the landfills around here, anyway.

Plagued by Prince

All this week I've had some mysterious part of my brain torturing me by repeating the few Prince lyrics I know. I'm not a Prince fan and have never thought much about his music, but I've also got nothing against him (although that whole changing his name to a symbol was pretty weird). I've never felt the urge to run screaming when one of his songs came on the radio, but now that's my first impulse. I can't seem to escape them. They're playing in the back of my mind on a constant loop and I'm wondering what's the cause, or better yet, who's to blame.

Right now my brain is going, "Two-thousand-zero-zero-party-over-it's-out-of-time". It's utterly embarrassing. Not only is it an annoying song, but it's pretty lame to want to party like it's 1999 now. I totally see the appeal of ideas like those of "The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind". I want that guy's songs out of my mind. Erase them, please. I'm sure I could use the space for something else.

Raaaaspberry beret....

The other day I had a dream that my clock radio was playing "When Dove's Cry" and no matter what I did, I couldn't get it to stop. I banged it, smashed it, threw it, but the song played on. Doot doo doo doo. Doot doo da doo. I woke up, confused, to find the song still going. My (undamaged) clock radio was playing it right by my head. Talk about nightmares coming true.

This morning, after being awoken by a similar song, I whined in discomfort and pleaded for it to go away. I've come to the conclusion that the media conglomerates are conspiring against me with their repeating playlists. Damn you, ClearChannel. I changed the station to modern rock. I don't think Prince is allowed in that category, so I'll probably be woken tomorrow by Nickelback or some other whiney, cringe-inducing garbage that will make me just as angry. I'm angry right now just thinking about it.

I discussed my troubles with my man, hoping he could help explain the sudden influx of Prince songs. He proceeded to hum "If you get caught between the moon and New York City....", which, if nothing else, proves that no matter how bad you think your problem is, you can always have a worse song stuck in your head.