I Deserve Two Forks (if not more)

Is there a shortage of forks in the restaurant business? Do cafes save big bucks on dishwashing bills by skimping on the silverware?
All I want to do is place my fork on my salad plate when I'm finished. The mostly-empty plate seems like a logical place for a used utensil, and placing the fork thus signals to the wait staff that the plate can be removed. Yet, unless I shell out big bucks for a caviar and linen tablecloth kind of place, I am apparently only allowed one fork per meal.
Numerous times I have been astounded by a server's request that I keep my used salad fork. Keep it? Should I hold it in my hands until the next course arrives? Am I to put it down on the potentially grimy tabletop after meticulously licking all the remnants of salad dressing off? I guess I could rest it on my napkin, but isn't that supposed to stay in my lap? Should I put the fork in my lap, too? Maybe I'll just forget about using a napkin and wipe my hands on the salt shaker.
If they want to skimp on forks, perhaps we should forgo knives as well. Who needs a knife when you can tear food really well with your teeth and hands? If they continue this downward slide, soon we'll be drinking straight from the wine bottle and slurping right out of the soup bowl, which would indeed speed things up considerably.
In the end, I guess it all comes down to speed and convenience. All that silverware is just too time-consuming for the frenzied American lifestyle. I always feel rushed when eating out in American restaurants. The restaurant staff, while probably trying to cater to those who are in a hurry, end up making me feel pressured to scarf my meal in record time. I don't want the main course when I am still eating the soup or the salad, and I hate being brought the bill when I am still enjoying my entree. Even in an uncrowded place, it feels impossible to linger. When I get the check without asking, I feel like I am being firmly shown the door.
I don't need a formal place setting or a ten course meal, but when I'm paying to go out to dinner, it should be a little more civilized and classy than pizza and beer night in front of the telly. If not, then I'll just stay home and have more pizza and beer.