Toasties Totally Deserve a Blog Entry

I have been utterly remiss. I've been blogging for a a year and I've yet to expound upon the merits of some of my favorite foods, namely bread and cheese. I love freshly baked bread, especially with a bit of a crispy crust, and I'm a big fan of the major cheeses (as long as they're not too old and smelly. I'm also a lifelong cottage cheese nut, but that deserves it's own blog). Put them together, add a little butter (mmm...the smell of cooking butter) and a wonderful creation emerges in the kitchen. (I make my toasties in the kitchen, but I suppose if you're desperate you can make one in the living room with an iron, in the den with a fireplace, or in the library with a flame thrower. Versatility is one of the beauties of this simple, delicious meal).
Americans choose to call this magnificent marvel a "grilled cheese sandwich", which takes all the romance out of it. I much prefer the Dutch "toastie" which sound cozy and warm, with a hint of fun. I had a little teddy bear named "Toasty" once (he came with a name tag, that's how I know). He wore a little red and white scarf and looked like he would have enjoyed a cheesy delight if his mouth hadn't been sewn on. It wouldn't have been cannibalism because he was a bear, not a sandwich. Anyway, Toasty is long gone (he was a gift from a John Deere boy in 3rd grade, so still having him would be weird), but I can make a comforting toastie anytime (unless I run out of cheese, which would be a major catastrophe).
I have this device called a George Forman grill (a gift from my in-laws, so it's not weird to still have it), named after a boxer who needed to make money doing something else. I don't know why his name sells grills, but apparently it does. All his kids are named George, though, so maybe he has a strange compulsion to put his name on everything that crosses his path. I don't call the apparatus "George", though. I just call it the grill. It cooks meat well, but only makes second-rate toasties because it's too hard to put butter on. Give me a frying pan anyday.
I don't name my frying pans, either. Should I? I used to name my cacti, but I've grown out of that. Or maybe I've become cold-hearted. I did give Toasty away, after all. But I never gave John Deere Texas the time of day, either, so I've been cold-hearted all my life.
Nothing heats up a cold heart like a warm toastie.

Good Thing I Don't Believe in...

NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS: It's more than a week into 2007, so it's about time I got my act together and wrote a blog. If I believed in new year's resolutions, I would have forced myself sit down and write long before this evening. I would have been racked with guilt that I last created a blog entry well before Christmas, and I would have felt bad until I came up with a worthy topic. This way, fortunately, I can write this lame excuse for a blog and be quite content.

ADVERTISING: I don't believe anything anyone on any infomercial tries to tell me. I don't think that I need Requip for twitchy legs or Lunesta to get a good night sleep. I don't need a hemi in my engine or representation by a crooked lawyer. I still don't want a cell phone, a Tivo, or a fast food meal no matter how often those sort of images are thrown in my face. But wait, there's more! Imagine how much money I save by being so skeptical!

ASTROLOGY: Well, according to my horoscope in the local paper, Jupiter is rising in my sign for the first time in years, so 2007 is looking up to be a great year. Good thing I don't believe in astrology or I might have to blame myself instead of my stars when things start to fall apart.