Christmas Survey

Nothing says Christmas like a survey. Feminist Chick decided to send this questionnaire to me with the instructions that I forward it on to everyone in my address book. Rather than subject people to more junk email (and I'm not following instructions anymore, anyway, since I'm thirty and can do whatever I want now), I copied it onto my blog for people to peruse only if they wish. Consider it a Christmas gift.

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? Neither. Why kill all those trees and create landfill waste? Reduce, reuse, re-wrap, and recycle. I like to use cloth (unbleached and woven from organic alpaca wool) wrapping that can also be used as towels, bedding or clothes. But if I did have to choose between the two, I would pick wrapping paper because it is so pretty and fun to rip.

2. Real tree or artificial? Real, provided it comes from a tree farm (see my last blog post). Evergreen trees smell so nice.

3. When do you put up the tree? I would like to put up the tree about a week before Christmas (around my birthday), but they are usually cut so early that I need to get one sooner to get it into some water.

4. When do you take the tree down? As soon as possible post Christmas. Nothing's quite as over as Christmas, and I HATE seeing Christmas decorations in January.

5. Do you like eggnog? I doubt it. I've never tried it because it sounds disgusting. Aren't there raw eggs in there? What about salmonella or botulism? I mean, risking disease with cookie dough is one thing, but a raw egg drink? Ick. I'm not from around here, anyway.

6. Favorite gift received as a child? Anything Star Wars related. Not the ridiculous new movies by loony George Lucas with his goofy CGI effects, but the old ones with the Ewoks. That's it, favorite gift: Ewok Village.

7. Do you have a nativity scene? No way. I'm evil and a heathen. But I did read in the paper about someone searching for their Jesus figure that had been stolen from their yard. Now there's a Christmas carol in the making.

8. Hardest person to buy for? Santa.

9. Easiest person to buy for? My cats. Christmas ribbon does the trick.

10. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? A kick in the face.

11. Mail or email Christmas cards? Mail. I love the postman. Platonically.

12. Favorite Christmas Movie? "Scrooge" with Albert Finney and Sir Alec Guinness as a horribly overacted Marley. "I Hate People" is my favorite song of all time.

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? Not until December if I can help it. I hate shopping (and people).

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? Reduce, reuse, re-wrap and recycle.

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? Cookies. I make some wicked cookies, if I do say so myself. I think it helps to rock out while baking. Not only do I put on big band and Bing Christmas CDs, but Metallica and the Arctic Monkeys really produce results.

16. Clear lights or colored on the tree? Well. I used to like colored lights, but my man convinced me of their pedestrian nature. My white lights are nicely bourgeois.

17. Favorite Christmas song? The one with the horse whip. Or "Bring Back My Stolen Jesus".

18. Travel at Christmas or stay home? Whatevs. I like to travel all year long, so at Christmas it might be better to stay home and avoid the crowds (see answer to #12 or 13).

19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer? Of course. Dancer, Dasher, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Jolsen, Donner, Blitzen, Rudolph, Osama, Pinko, and Jaggeroth.

20. Angel on the tree top or a star? Neither. I like to see a bare branch up there.

21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? Morning. Patience is a virtue (and avarice a deadly sin). Watch out or you'll get nothing but a lump of coal.

22. Most annoying thing about this time of year? People forgetting my birthday.

23. What I love most about Christmas? The postman. He might bring presents.

24. Do you buy gifts for your pets? Of course. They would be sad if I forgot them. They especially like playing with ribbons, wrappings and boxes and ignoring their new toys.

25. Have you ever been Christmas Caroling? Yes. I went Christmas caroling with my brother's Cub Scout troop when I was young. I was that annoying little sister they couldn't get rid of (but I wasn't going to miss out on the hay ride and free cookies).

26. Hot chocolate or Hot Apple Cider? CHOCOLATE is always the answer.

Tis the Season

While I may be a humbug about Thanksgiving and it's assorted icky foods, I am positively cheerful when it comes to Christmas. I like Christmas songs and movies and cookies. You can't go wrong with Bing Crosby and some hot chocolate. And, with my current location, a white Christmas isn't too far-fetched.

So, while I have no decorations for other holidays (I'd like to see you try to put up pink Valentine hearts in my house), I do have ornaments and decorations full of Christmas holiday cheer.


My collection of ornaments makes me smile. I have favorite animals like moose and puffins, glass balls passed down from my grandmothers, and ornaments from Alaska, Amsterdam and, most recently, Centennial, Wyoming (a bison with a Christmas bow!) How can a grizzly hugging Santa because of a fish present not make you laugh?

Last weekend I decided to get a Christmas tree. I've not had one in years, since it just didn't feel right in Florida. I once considered decorating a palm tree, but those are hard to come by in apartment-size and they have too few branches for all of my ornaments. And I'm not that kooky.

I was surprised to find that Laramie did not offer many tree purchasing options. I discovered that many people enjoy cutting their own from a nearby woodlands. For ten dollars, you can get a permit to cut a tree in the national forest. For zero dollars, you can even go up to a remote part of the forest and illegally cut a tree. That seems more like Scrooge than Bob Cratchett, but there you go.

I didn't really like this do-it-yourself idea, because when I go for a hike in the woods I'd rather not see stumps of removed trees. I also worried about how one would choose a tree from an entire forest. What if I removed a chipmunk's winter stash? What if I snatched an owl's favorite tree? I couldn't live with the guilt.

So I bought a farmed tree from a nursery. It came from Wisconsin, which is a weird place for a tree to come from (cheese, maybe, but trees?), but at least I supported a farmer and left the forest alone.

Decorating was fun, and was helped along by Wookie, who also tried to eat the tree, to little effect. He enjoys the commotion and loves trying to knock ornaments down, so I put soft ones and bells on the lower branches especially for him. Sammy's only Christmas joy is ribbon, and since I wasn't wrapping presents, she declined to help with anything and removed herself from the situation.

The tree turned out great and the house is ready for Santa. Unfortunately, he will not be able to get down the chimney because some nasty soul blocked it off. Because you wouldn't use a fireplace in Wyoming, would you?!? I can't leave him any milk and cookies because of the Wookie (abandoned food is fair game)and I can't leave the window open because it's about 12 degrees outside. I will just have to believe that Santa can overcome these tiny issues and bring some splendid gifts anyway. I've been mostly good this year. Really.

More Animal Paintings and Some Unnecessary Memories

Yeah, I know--another pronghorn. I can't help it; they are such interesting creatures that I can't resist painting them. I am still excited that they are easily spotted right outside of town. I shout, "Prong!" and point from the car every time. It's kind of like "Nibbles!" with me. It's almost a compulsion.


I also painted a wood duck, with a little artistic brightening of colors. I haven't seen one in a while, so I gave myself some fudge room. (Mmmm, a fudge room.) If a wood duck could duck, would it? I think so.

Finally, I painted a majestic eagle to appease anyone who might be monitoring my internet activity. The bald eagle is the mightiest, strongest and best creature and can beat anyone else in the world. Now, stop calling me a pinko just because I don't like traditional Thanksgiving foods. Or barbeque.


The eagle was a bit difficult to paint because it brought back haunting memories of elementary school. All students were forced to attend these hideous gatherings called 'pep rallies' where the high school cheerleaders would chant rhymes and the football team would try to look tough and the K-12 crowd would yell at top volume from the bleachers. When I got old enough, I would hide in the library, but before I became so clever, I would draw the eagle mascot on a piece of paper and write "Go Big Green" or "Kill the Pirates" or some other violent slogan to wave from the stands. Looking back, this odd Friday ritual must have helped turn me into a non-football playing pacifist and a crowd-hater. It at least started my suspicions regarding organized groups of mindless followers.

So, in an effort to forget troubling memories of school and preserve what's left of my sanity, this will be my one and only bald eagle painting. Hang those Texas Eagles. Good thing they weren't the Prongs.