So, spring. The sun definitely seems closer and warmer, or at least my current hemisphere seems more tilted in its general direction. In short, I seem to get warmer in the sunshine than I did in January. To put it another way, sun spots have re-entered the house and I, along with my cats, enjoy laying in them. To be clear, the sun feels more powerful than in the winter months. To be honest, I almost considered using sun screen the other day. To be fair, I don't think I really would have gotten sunburned. It is spring, after all, not summer.
Spring, while it might herald in the flowers (none yet in Wyoming, but I saw bloomin' for Cynthia in Colorado--why she gets her own shrubbery I'll never know. What's she like?) and the songbirds (I did see a few bazzin' robins and a barmy nuthatch that have returned from the south (Arizona? Mexico?)), also signifies the end of skiing season. I tried cross-country skiing the other day, and the bloody snow in the nearby mountains had melded into a bleedin' sheet of ice. I thought, blimey, I'm lucky I didn't fall down, but it wasn't for lack of opportunity. Downhill skiing is pretty near banjaxed, too, for all the record snowfall on the slopes. Most ski places shut down about this time of year regardless of the amount of snow left to play on, the bamsticks. Blast. I could keep skiing for months.
I skied the other week at Jackson Hole Resort and I shredded the place. I shredded some guy's face, too, but he totally deserved it. I knocked over an entire ski class, half of whom fell into the trees, uprooting a few of them. I felt a little bad about the trees. I totally got some serious air when I jumped out of that helicopter. (I was thankful they were flying that day. The whole time I was riding up the mountain in the gondola, while I was looking at the snow coming down, I could tell that the wind was blowing pretty seriously so I felt sure they wouldn't be flying. I said so, numerous times. I even checked my Blackberry to be sure that the weather I was seeing with my actual eyes matched the weather that the sensors were sensing.) I blasted down those Tetons; the powder was flying, and I skied so hard I pulverized my ski boot.
Seriously, after about four hours of beautiful turns on the super-steep slopes, all of a sudden I was totally having some serious trouble maneuvering. I seriously thought I was just getting tired and suggested a lunch break. My man and I went down to the Mangy Moose, which I seriously had to go to because of the terrific name and my man totally had to go to because they had seriously-fabulous Oregon Deschutes beer on tap. We had a quick burger which we ate totally ravenously because of all the energy we had used up with all the serious shredding. When it came time to buckle up my boots for another run, I totally discovered that the plastic on my right boot was completely shattered. I'm totally serious. The buckles had nothing left to pull together. I had seriously skied so hard and so awesomely that I had totally destroyed everything.
So, while I was bummed about having to replace my ski equipment, I was pretty psyched about replacing my ski equipment. I got to buy a new treat for myself, which I hardly ever do. I'm a big fan of the hand-me-down, because that means I have to work less and get more. It is nice, however, to have some brand new things once in a while. I hit a fabulous Spring ski sale (full of springiness) and got new boots and skis in the latest "so balanced just for women that they practically turn for you" style. They are called "Cool Minx Atomics" which I like the sound of (of which I like the sound, if you prefer).
So, with spring upon us and the ski season nearing a close, I had to try out my new gear. I went to the local ski place, which, after Spring Break wasn't even Wyoming crowded. I shredded that place, too. My new skis were so fast and fabulous that I felt like Lasse Kjus reborn. That's right, I'm a born-again Norwegian. What's more: for the first time ever, I did not fall one single time. In the past, sometimes I fell trying to stop or turn on a particularly steep bit. Sometimes I fell after hitting a chunk of ice or from looking at other people while not noticing that my skis had crossed. Sometimes I couldn't even figure out why I was suddenly on the ground. But not this time. I stayed on my feet for the entire day, like a pro.
Now I have the whole summer to forget all my skills. I have to put my Cool Minxes away for awhile and bring out a whole other set of muscles (with no awesome model name) for my summer activities. I went for a ten mile hike in Boulder this weekend, which included a climb up a peak and a snowy slide/hike down the other side. My knees, thighs AND calves were sore the next day. But I seriously totally shredded that blasted peak.
3 comments:
Who the hell are you and where is Al?
Moonlight? Dancing the Tango? Backflips on the beach? What I really need more than anything else is for someone to tell me, to tell me, to tell me, to tell me, to tell me, that I don't need a new exhaust system on my Hyundai. Now bring me my roast beef.
I'm worried that with all that shredding,there was nothing left behind. I hope the gondola influence is shredded too.
Post a Comment