Buy My Junk (I Mean, My Vintage Collectables)

An R2D2 postbox near the corner of the historic Plaza in Santa Fe made me laugh. It was worth a picture, and once taken, I went on with my day with no further Star Wars thoughts besides those normal ones of comparing a passing Shih Tzu to an Ewok or perhaps quoting a little dialogue from Return of the Jedi. The droid sighting did not, notably, make me want to sign into Ebay to see whether I could bid on an R2D2 mail box for my Star Wars collection.

I no longer have a Star Wars collection. I never really had a true collection at all, just lots of toys that I used to play with as a kid. The figures and creatures were boxed up half-forgotten in the closet for lack of any takers. My nieces somehow were just never interested.

One day, lamenting the Jabba-sized boxes taking up my closet space, I vaguely remembered someone commenting "some day that stuff will be worth money." With curiosity, I clicked on Ebay, not really expecting to find much.

Amazingly, Star Wars collectibles are big business. The "vintage" stuff from the old movies is highly traded, and some of it is actually bought and sold for real money. I couldn't believe that I could make money from old stuff that I just hadn't gotten rid of because of fond memories.

The more I looked on Ebay, the more I found that my junk included some rarities. I had this weird monster that I don't even remember from the movies. He was in near mint condition because he was so ugly I rarely played with him. However, since I have a meticulous personality, he still had his staff (with skulls? Why would I want to play with this creepy guy?) and even a collectible coin.


This figure alone netted me over $40. No joke. I had never even visited Ebay before, but overnight I became an avid dealer. It was almost addictive to check my bids and see the crazy amounts that people were willing to pay for this crap.

I sold almost all my Star Wars stuff for prices well over any that my parents paid when they bought them new (I ignored parental queries over commissions for their insight in purchasing just the right toys).

The interest in the plastic junk was not limited to dudes in manky basements in Ohio. I made over $25 on this group of monsters, which was bought by a collector in Spain. I had no idea Spain had Star Wars geeks! And I couldn't believe that some guy (yes, the purchasers were mostly guys) would pay another $25 for me to ship it to him over there! I remember buying this Rancor Monster and Wampa at a garage sale for a buck or two when I was a little kid. Now that's a return on an investment!

Then I turned to the other toys left in my closet. My Barbie dolls, it turned out, were pretty worthless. They weren't old or unique enough. I gave them away via FreeCycle to a very excited little girl and moved on.

I found that I had some My Little Pony's from the 80s, which were also considered "vintage". I'm not sure if twenty years is old enough to earn that label, but what do I know? Most of the ponies were only worth a bit of cash (which I was happy to take), but Internet research soon revealed that I had three rare boy ponies. Boy ponies were made one year only, so there weren't that many of them (I wonder if it was controversial at the time for the all girl pony herd to suddenly have a bunch of stallions added. I just remember wanting them because they had cool Clydesdale hooves. And hats.). Most of the boy ponies for sale had lost their hats, bandannas and special combs or had been the victims of unfortunate haircuts. I, being me (and no disparaging comments on my picky personality, thank you), still had all the accessories.

Doesn't he look nice? He earned me almost $30, and his two buddies brought in even more. $30 for a plastic horse from 1987. My man, with a new appreciation for My Little Ponies, asked, "Have you got any more of those ponies hidden anywhere?" Alas, I never had that many in the first place, so this was a one-time-only bonanza.

The women who bought the ponies (yes, the purchasers were all women) responded giddily to the arrival of their packages with comments like, "Thank you, he's perfect!!!!!" The ponies obviously weren't going to be given to children as toys, but were going to be added to a display case in very weird houses. I didn't belong in this Pony World, so I sold quickly and got out.

In one month on Ebay, I earned enough cash for numerous concert tickets and ski passes, and I much prefer those experiences to a collection of plastic toys that I haven't touched in fifteen years. Although I will still smile at a R2D2 mailbox or other Star Wars reference, I think I've outgrown much of all that. Except that I have a cat named Wookie. And I can use the Force to make people do my bidding. That's the only rational explanation for my recent windfall.