Is there a shortage of forks in the restaurant business? Do cafes save big bucks on dishwashing bills by skimping on the silverware?
All I want to do is place my fork on my salad plate when I'm finished. The mostly-empty plate seems like a logical place for a used utensil, and placing the fork thus signals to the wait staff that the plate can be removed. Yet, unless I shell out big bucks for a caviar and linen tablecloth kind of place, I am apparently only allowed one fork per meal.
Numerous times I have been astounded by a server's request that I keep my used salad fork. Keep it? Should I hold it in my hands until the next course arrives? Am I to put it down on the potentially grimy tabletop after meticulously licking all the remnants of salad dressing off? I guess I could rest it on my napkin, but isn't that supposed to stay in my lap? Should I put the fork in my lap, too? Maybe I'll just forget about using a napkin and wipe my hands on the salt shaker.
If they want to skimp on forks, perhaps we should forgo knives as well. Who needs a knife when you can tear food really well with your teeth and hands? If they continue this downward slide, soon we'll be drinking straight from the wine bottle and slurping right out of the soup bowl, which would indeed speed things up considerably.
In the end, I guess it all comes down to speed and convenience. All that silverware is just too time-consuming for the frenzied American lifestyle. I always feel rushed when eating out in American restaurants. The restaurant staff, while probably trying to cater to those who are in a hurry, end up making me feel pressured to scarf my meal in record time. I don't want the main course when I am still eating the soup or the salad, and I hate being brought the bill when I am still enjoying my entree. Even in an uncrowded place, it feels impossible to linger. When I get the check without asking, I feel like I am being firmly shown the door.
I don't need a formal place setting or a ten course meal, but when I'm paying to go out to dinner, it should be a little more civilized and classy than pizza and beer night in front of the telly. If not, then I'll just stay home and have more pizza and beer.
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4 comments:
I carry a swiss army knife that has a fork. I use it in the above-described scenarios.
Come to Europe and eat instead:)
I heard that in Europe they don't give you your check until you ask for it. What's up with that? I like it when they put it on my table while I am about half way through my steak. If you ask me, it is necessary for a waiter to come by the table and ask, "how's everything folks?" about every 3-4 minutes. I also care about their name. I need to know that Phil, or Michael, or Jenna, or Phystrickla is helping me. That why I can say, "Say, Phystrickla, what is good on the desert menu? I was leaning toward the choco-choco-chocolate cake surprise, but I have to admit that the carrot cake really sounds good. Who am I kidding--everything sounds good. But what should I do? I might even want the caramel delight. Please advise me."
So to recap:
1. One fork is good enough
2. The check must be presented to later than five minutes after the main course is served
3. the waiter must be an almost constant presence
4. carrot cake
There are a number of issues that this post raises. First of all, you don't mention the possibility that you bring your own silverware to dinners out. For all I know, you have a knife and a couple of forks stashed in your handbag, ready to pull out at any moment to dig into some scrumptuous cheesecake. Is this the case?
Second point: you don't bring up the idea that forks might be employed for uses other than eating. For example, in the opening scene of Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, Indiana pokes a stunning Kate Capeshaw in the side, tearing her sequin dress. Now, as we all know those kind of dresses aren't cheap and we can only hope that Leo Che had a replacement handy somewhere in the backroom. The point is moot because she totally ditched Lao Che. And if you brought up Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (IJATTOD), I would expect that you to address the ever pressing issue of cultural insensitivity. There is something very condescending about an archeologist who comes in and helps to break some sort of spell so that everyone can thrive. And if you mentioned IJATTOD, I would assume that you would also address Octopussy, the popular James Bond Movie starring Roger Moore (whose real name was Terry Jacombia). If I am not mistaken, 007 uses a fork to stab somebody in the face.
Of course, some foods don't need a fork. Most soups and stews can be easily devoured with a spoon. My main complaint is that whenever I order a bowl of Vegetarian Chili, the server brings me a tea spoon and tells me "to deal". When I complain, I am brought out a spork. Incidentally, you don't mention whether an extra spork would solve your complaints. Another food that doesn't require forks are the so-called "finger foods": bowls of nuts, chips and salsa, spring-rolls, bowls of pimento cheese, sandwiches, etc. I once ordered a loaf of Velveeta and a can of sterno.
This also may be a political issue. I have noticed these types of things going down in America these days-- ALL THE TIME. I am just throwing this out for discussion. Do you live in a "red state" or a "blue state"?
I find that the relationship between the cost of meals and the amount of forks, spoons, knives, and sporks is directly proportional. I went to a nice French restaurant with my Life Coach (Mr. Felix Johnston-Worggle)that had a basket full of plastic forks at each table. I only needed one because I ordered one course (tacos), but if I had ordered the hummus I could have used more. Forget it if I ordered the tempura shrimp which is what Felix did. I can't believe that guy! He stuck me with the bill which came to 78 Euros. Felix left the restaurant before I was finished with my tacos. Some Life Coach! I mean how am I supposed to make progress?
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