Furry Notions

Sometimes I think I would prefer having fur rather than this silly skin. Although I like wrapping up in fuzzy, comfy clothes, I hate the process of changing. Maybe that's one reason why I hate shopping: changing rooms. I just really dislike pulling garments on and off. I also dislike the nasty carpets in most changing rooms that make me feel like I will pick up diseases and fungi if I'm not wearing socks. I would much rather have a nice furry coat that would keep me warm at all times and not have to be removed.

There's another problem, I guess. I have an affliction I like to refer to as TATs. Temperature Adjustment Troubles. When I get cold, I have trouble warming up. When I get hot, it feels like I will never cool off. I constantly add and remove layers in order to achieve some average temperature that never arises. If I drink a hot cup of tea, I have to throw my sweatshirt out the window. If I eat some ice cream, I have to add two pairs of socks for every scoop. I'm tired of clothes.

If I only had a furry outer layer, I could be the next Bigfoot. I could live out in the woods and scare people for fun. The biggest problem with that scenario (besides the lack of a naturally growing fur coat) is that my feet are decidedly average in size. They can hardly be described as big by any stretch of the imagination, and if I had to put on prosthetics in order to leave the big, scary prints, that would defeat the point of not having to change clothes.

Not that I mind being wrapped in cozy comfort. I love wearing soft, warm clothes that have plenty of room to move and pockets to put my cold hands in. Unfortunately, women's clothes generally provide little comfort and next to no pockets. Women are expected to dress for 'the occasion' which seems to mean wearing stupid shoes that are impossible to walk in and having nowhere to stash your wallet.

I like winter clothes more than summer clothes. I prefer soft sweaters and fuzzy fleeces to shorts and tank tops. Cold weather can be conquered with the addition of layers. Hot weather is impossible to beat. There is only so much that you can take off and still be considered decent. I mean, a bikini top is only appropriate in certain situations, unless you're Britney Spears.

I don't really know why I dislike changing clothes so much, but I do. Take my work for instance (please?). The large animal techs and doctors have to change into overalls when they go out to the barn. COMMUNAL overalls. Ick. I don't shop at thrift stores because I can't stand the thought of shared clothes cooties (and I don't have the patience to dig through bins). Anyway, they have to change off and on throughout the day, because they are expected to look nicer (wear khakis) when dealing with small animals. The dogs and cats don't seem to care, but presumably the clients do.

I would go mad(der than I already am) if I had to change so often. I hate even putting on jeans after taking a shower. I would wear pyjamas all day if they weren't ridiculously covered in sheep and penguins. Changing back and forth all day long would be a nightmare. Today I drew blood from a horse and wore my khaki scrub pants. Ha. I'm a rebel with the cause of LIMITED CLOTHING CHANGES.

The horse didn't mind that I didn't wear overalls. He didn't even try to kick me when I stuck a big needle in his neck.

Today I also pulled some porcupine quills out of a Malamute's snout. He had a lovely fur coat that looked cozy and warm. He didn't comment on my khakis, but he was pretty drugged up at the time.